A mother's hope

Mother's day 2005... my first mother's day as a mom. What a blessing it was to have Eliana!

Mother's day 2006... the baptism of one-month old Abigail. We gathered together as a family and were blessed by the sacrament of baptism. We celebrated the blessing of Abigail and had a beautiful lunch prepared by Abbie's Uncle Rod. It was a day celebrating the blessing of children and family.

Mother's day 2007... a day filled with hope. Abbie was out of the pediatric ICU at Mott Children's hospital and was visibly getting better everyday. It seemed as if our 4 months of hospital living were drawing to an end. Eliana was in Ann Arbor with us and I got to spend part of the day with both of my beloved girls.

Mother's day 2008... a day filled with grief, but not without hope. It was one of those days that takes you by surprise. Who knew that mother's day would be a day in which I missed Abbie so much I felt the physical pain of empty arms. I was caught unprepared and, though I tried to hold it together, the tears flowed the first time someone asked the typical Sunday greeting of "how are you?" I spent a good portion of the afternoon in bed with the sheets over my head... sometimes sobbing and sometimes sleeping (thankfully both of Abbie's sisters took great afternoon naps!). That evening, God blessed me with His word while I was at Bible Study (which was on Romans 8). I was struck by Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us". The suffering of watching a precious daughter fight and succumb to leukemia and the suffering of missing her so very much it hurts are not even worthy to be compared to the glory that is to come. The pain I feel is going to pale in comparison to the glory to come (and by 'pale in comparison', I mean it isn't even able to be compared!). The suffering I have gone through (and am going through) makes heaven so much more real, so much more alive, and it gives me a greater understanding of how amazing heaven will be. Little Abbie is there in heaven experiencing the whole thing and someday I will get to be there experiencing it with her. So, this mother's hope is a secure hope that I don't suffer in vain - that God causes all things to work for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). It is a hope that someday I will sit in the presence of Christ and all the hard times won't even compare to how amazing it is to be in heaven.